hurt

what is hurt ? Is it cutting your finger whilst chopping vegetables ? Is it falling on your knees while running to catch the bus ? I don't know.. All I know is that sometimes, I hurt more than I think I deserve...

I know you need to appreciate the good in life, to make the most of it and not bury down in sorrow.. Sometimes though, just sometimes, it feels as if you are being eaten alive by some hurt-monster, trying to get you to feel as bad as he does. It's as if your insides are tearing apart, making room for some unknown silence and cold. Tears stream down your face, you can't control what's going on, and you just can't seem to stop it either.

Why does it have to be that way ? Why does things have to hurt so much? I know I said I wanted changes, but sometimes, just sometimes, can't things just remain the way they are ?

Who am I kidding, I know they can't, if things remained it would hurt for someone else -someone I love, who I don't want to hurt. I just have all these hopes and dreams, and when big changes comes along and shatter them to pieces -it just hurts. I don't know what to do, I just wish you could push bad thinking and all the bad clouds away so the sun would come through.. Why do I always dig this whole and put myself in it ? I'm better than that, I know better than that.

sometimes, just sometimes, things just hurt.

xo

M