I'm sorry I haven't blogged lately.. I know there ain't a whole lot of you following my blog anyway, so the loss is at least smaller than if I was one of the top 100 of Norway blogs -hehe, unlikely.
Anyway, my last two posts have been about my anorectic self. Because even though I have been "good" for about six years now, my head is still not as good as it should be. I started working out last year, and even though I could see the effects on my body for a while, my weight remained the same. Now let's get one thing clear, it isn't always about weight. But with a BMI of 31 (severely obese), I really should start taking more care of myself. Fine, I do have a lot of muscle -but then again I haven't worked out in two months, thereby probably losing a lot of my muscle mass back in to fat tissue once more.
I took a week of vacation from work, it was well needed. My self-esteem issues make me feel small and alone being manager, and sometimes it's hard being lonely on top. I just have to clinch my teeth together and realize that I AM the manager, and I am there to make things work. I wish I could get an employee I could trust and I could mold in to what I want out of a tech/pharmacist... Although that is unlikely to happen -a girl can always dream.
Ten awesome girls have started a new motivational blog called motivated.blogg.no -I would recommend you to take a look if you read Norwegian, it's pretty cool. The point of the blog is to get inspired, and to understand that you CAN do it, if you are trying to lose weight or get a healthier lifestyle. It's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy and happy with who you are. Like we all should be! (myself included).
I am trying this time. When I get back home, there HAS to be some change. I'll be all Obama about it -CHANGE (or underwear, my friend works for the lingerie chain CHANGE, haha). I need to plan out my meals, I need to start moving a bit -my low energy levels are from not sleeping enough, but also from not moving around enough. I wan't to crossfit, but I will do my own version of it, since I am not a member of a gym these days. I'm going to go to mobech and get some weights, and even though our living room/kitchen really isn't that big, I want to use some of that area as my workout area.. my space, my rules.
Now this is a hope, a dream, but this time, I have to make it. I am miserable and I am ruining my life, and my relationship because of my misery. I can't live like this any more. If I want to have a future with my man, if I want to have a happy healthy future for me, and my possible kids -I am hoping this might be it. I have mucked around for way too long now, it's time for a change...